You know the steps it takes to get out the door, the planning it takes to get through your day. It’s not always a time crunch as it is a never ending list of crossing off tasks. I often hear women say, “I don’t want to be the stressed mom, the one that is yelling, and hardly listening, the one that is impatient and explosive.” Yet when you are feeling rushed somehow you end up being the worst version of yourselves. By following these three rules, you will learn how to manage the negative consequences of being in a hurry.
Rule One: Break the Habit
Feeling hurried is a reaction to stress, and a trigger for stress. When we get stuck in a cycle of responding to and trigging stress with being in a hurry. Urgency becomes a habit. When you start saying, “I feel so rushed all the time.” Or “I never get anything done, yet I am always so busy.” Chances are you have formed a habit of being in a hurry. You might find yourself feeling easily drained, and short-tempered.
The habit of hurry can be one of hurry’s most negative consequences, but take heart just like any habit it can be broke. You can break the habit of being in a hurry, by carving out down time and making sure you are separating your daily tasks.
By identifying your down times. You can create moments to take a break. The longer you have been in the habit of hurrying, the harder this might be to do. Keep a book for enjoyment in the car so while you wait for soccer practice you can read, something fun and light. Give yourself permission to slow down in these brief moments. Break up your day with a walk. Socialize, call a friend, or chat with the other moms at swim practice. Taking intentional breaks can be calming even in smallest of doses. Give yourself an off duty time, at 9pm regardless of what isn’t accomplished you stop working. You can pick up where you left off in the morning.
Another way to break a habit of being in a hurry is to mentally separate your tasks. You run into trouble when all your daily individual tasks become one master task. By separating your duties, it can help you see the in between, maybe even recognizing where the slow points are during the day where you can take a breather. By separating your daily obligations, you prevent frustrations from spilling over into one another.
Rule Two: Know the First Priority.
Hurry has a best friend; its name is control. Often times when feeling anxious and stressed you can fool yourself into thinking, control just like hurry is what you need to decrease the tension you feel. When you are trying to hurry and control everything around, stress and anxiety can sky rocket, feeling overwhelmed and having a low tolerance when things are out of your control is common. Being quick to snap, even yell at those closest to you can be the negative consequence you experience.
By identifying one purpose for each chore or task. You can cut out all the extra things hurry convinces you, you need to control in order to decrease our stress. Ask yourself when you start to feel being overwhelmed creeping in, “what is the purpose I am trying to accomplish?” For example, if you are taking young child to a doctor’s appointment, being on time might be your first priority. While dropping off your preteen at a friend’s, making sure they know they are loved before they jump out of the care might be your number one goal. You might not be able to cut tasks or errands completely off of your to-do list. But you can choose what purpose each task has. What priority is the most important, simplifying the amount of pressure you put on yourself can decrease the tension that causes you to hurry and think you need to be in control of everything.
Rule Three: Build a Connection
When you are in a hurry you often leave those who matter most to you destroyed in your path. Making this one of the most damaging consequences of being in a hurry. Think about how you use the phrase “I don’t have time for this.” Usually when this phases sprays from your mouths it’s in irritation, maybe even anger. Chances are, you aren’t even looking at the loved one slowing you down. While the phrase itself, isn’t harsh or unkind, and most the time it probably is true. But when you shout this out to someone, who has something they feel is important holding them up. What they are hearing is, “you don’t care, I am not important.”
Building a connection means, you are intentional with your relationships. The anxiousness hurry creates makes you feel like you don’t have time to do anything but focus on the task at hand. By complimenting your teenager instead of being annoyed by how long they took to get ready, or giving extra love to your toddler as you buckle them in the car. You aren’t taking any additional time; you are simply building a connection as you go. Your saying and showing, “I see you. I care.”
Building a connection can also be a way to calm yourself down. Taking those few extra seconds to hug your toddler after you zip up their jacket, or laugh with a teen. You get relief from the tension you are carrying too. By building a connection with yourself in moments of intense stress, you can center yourself. Making it so you are less short-tempered by that is happening around you.